Sad News

This has been a rough week. We started the week full of excitement, planning for our friend Melinda's visit to town for her art show, a long over due book swap with the girls, and our weekend trip to Oklahoma to visit my sister & her family. We were especially excited to share the news with everyone that Cate was going to be a big sister! We had gotten used to the idea that they would only be 18 months apart & we were so excited about the possibilities! We had her adorable "Big Sister" T-shirt all ready so she could share the news the second we stepped off the plane in Oklahoma. But then everything changed. On Wednesday morning, I went in for my 12-week appointment and received the devastating news that the baby's heart had stopped beating. We were stunned -- we had just seen the strong heartbeat a few weeks before and I had not had any miscarriage symptoms. After we dealt with the initial shock, we had to plan the next steps, which included surgery at St. Lukes on Thursday -- a procedure called a D&C. Unfortunately, some hospital staff still refer to the procedure as an abortion and no matter what your political leanings, it is particularly hard to see "abortion" written on your medical forms when it most certainly is not an election. Thankfully, the procedure went smoothly and I had very little physical pain afterwards. We decided to go ahead with our trip to Oklahoma -- we needed to get away. We had a great time in Oklahoma -- which is much hillier and more beautiful than I would have known. We played in the pumpkin patch & I enjoyed my first margarita in many, many months, and just enjoyed being with family. Now we are working on getting back to life as usual, but being sure not to take life as usual for granted. I know this is a very personal posting but I think it's important -- so many wonderful women have discussed their similar experiences with me over the past week and I can't tell you what a comfort it is to know you are not alone in this. In the shock of the moment, it's hard to ask all the right questions of the doctors, and while you can get a lot of info from the internet, there is nothing like talking it through with someone who has been there. While I pray no one else has to go through this, should it happen, please know you are not alone & you can always talk to me.